4 Tips for Transgender Inclusion in Virtual Settings

It is no secret that coronavirus has changed our workplaces forever.  We are increasingly more distanced, more virtual, and craving connection more than ever before.  As we find ways to build connection in this new-found virtual world, it is important to understand the unique needs of transgender and gender-expansive individuals in virtual settings.

This month’s SCOTUS ruling, providing federal workplace protections to LGBTQ+ individuals, will lead more transgender and gender diverse folks to come out at work.  This provides an important opportunity for us to strengthen our knowledge and support of these individuals at work, both in-person and virtually.

Here are 4 tips to make your virtual spaces more gender inclusive.

1 . Include your pronouns in your display name and email signature.

This past month, I participated in a weekly virtual workshop on mindfulness.  The makeup of the group was primarily cisgender (non-trans) women.  Since my name is set up with my pronouns in the user settings on Zoom, my pronouns appeared automatically next to my name when I joined the meeting.  I kept my pronouns displayed this way for my own comfort, in hopes that this group of entirely new people would better understand how to refer to me.  What I did not expect, was that 3 members of the group displayed their pronouns next to their names on Zoom as well.  This may not seem like a big deal, but this unexpected experience was visceral for me.  My body felt lighter, my eyes full of excitement.  I felt incredibly seen.  I was made to feel valid.

An increasing number of people use pronouns that differ from what is assumed based on their gender expression, sex assigned at birth, or how they are perceived.  This is especially true for younger generations: 56% of Gen Z know someone who uses gender neutral pronouns.

Displaying your pronouns with your name in virtual meetings is a great way to normalize pronoun sharing and show your support of gender diverse individuals.  There are a couple of ways to do this depending on the virtual platform you use.

If using Zoom:

During a meeting, click on “Participants” on the bottom of the screen.  Hover over your name and click “more” to rename yourself.

Other platforms (Google Meet, Microsoft Teams, etc.):

Change your display name in your user settings and include your pronouns directly after your last name for them to appear automatically.  (Pro Tip: You can also do this on your LinkedIn Account).

Additionally, it is important to display your pronouns in your email signature.  You can learn more by reading my “Quick Guide to Sharing Pronouns in Email Signatures”.

2. Use Gender Neutral Language

How many meetings have you been in where the moderator starts, “Hey, guys!”?

Most people do this without a second thought.  However, it can be an uncomfortable and invalidating experience, not only for trans and gender diverse folks, but cisgender folks (particularly women) as well.

The first step to changing this is awareness.  Take note when you use gendered language like “guys”, “gals”, “ma’am”, etc. and think through ways you can replace it with a gender-neutral term.  For example, “you”, “you all”, “everyone”.

For formal occasions, instead of “Ladies and Gentlemen”, say “Honored Guests”, “Welcome, everyone”, or come up with a creative way to expand past “Ladies and Gentlemen”.  For example, “Ladies, Gentlemen, and all guests across the gender spectrum”.

3. Welcome Changes to Gender Expression

Where gender identity is your internal sense of self (i.e. man, woman, non-binary, etc.), gender expression (or gender presentation) is your outward expression of self.

As more individuals come out and explore their gender, we see many individuals with fluid gender presentations.  Gender presentation may change based on a variety of factors.  Hormone changes, identity exploration, or fluidity in gender identity or expression may all be reasons why a person’s gender presentation changes.  It’s important that this is always welcome and not made a mockery.

For those who are new to gender diverse individuals and experiences, it may seem strange or confusing to see someone’s gender expression change.  Regardless of where you’re at in your knowledge of gender diversity, it is always important to be respectful and open to changes in an individual's presentation.

Here are some Dos and Don’ts when someone’s gender presentation changes:

• Don’t act overly surprised

Though it may feel shocking to you, acting surprised when someone’s presentation changes can feel alienating and disrespectful.  Providing compliments may be okay, so long as they are respectful and workplace appropriate.

• Do check in if you are unsure of the person’s pronouns.

For some people, a change in presentation may indicate a shift in pronouns.  If someone’s pronouns are not displayed, check in privately using the chat feature or during meeting introductions.

• Don’t alienate the individual out of fear of making a mistake.

Many people are afraid of making mistakes, and this sometimes leads to alienation of gender diverse individuals.  Ignoring someone out of fear does not help to create connection and can often lead to worse outcomes.  However, if we allow ourselves grace with our current level of understanding and are willing to adjust where needed, we can create stronger relationships even while interacting virtually.

4. Practice Active-Allyship with Colleagues

The reality is, we all make mistakes.  Sometimes, without even realizing it.  We may need others in our lives to bring mistakes to light so that we can learn from them.  People we have direct relationships with can be the best people to help us understand our mistakes and process how to move forward and do better next time.  If a colleague continually makes the same mistake, it is important that someone points this out and helps support them to make needed changes.

For example, Charley continuously misgenders Nova in online meetings.  Charley does not realize this and Nova is too overwhelmed by the experience to speak up.  In this situation, it would be helpful for one of Charley’s colleagues to reach out to talk about it.  This helps by taking the responsibility of education off of Nova, and allows Charley a space to learn without the potential of causing additional harm.

One way to do this is to set up a virtual coffee chat to bring up the issue and give space for any learning that is needed.  Whatever the setting (virtual meeting, email, or private chat), bringing awareness and offering a compassion space for learning is a great first-step to help direct needed change.  

For more information on how to make your workplaces and virtual spaces more inclusive, email me at rex@rexwilde.com.