Happy National Coming Out Day!
Happy National Coming Out Day & LGBTQ+ History Month!
The month of October brings us an abundance of LGBTQ+ awareness days, from National Coming Out Day to International Pronouns Day. It is a particularly special month for me in my coming out journey, as October 20th marks the 8th anniversary of my legal name change!
Michael Cherny, who famously came out as transgender at Deloitte says “the process of coming out has been a journey of a thousand steps.”
One of the thousand steps I had to take before legally changing my name was to come out to one of the people I feared sharing my identity with the most: my dad.
For a variety of reasons, I was afraid that he would reject and disown me. So in order to come out to him, I had to be ready for the worst case scenario.
Cherny discusses a similar point in his journey, saying, “My partner gave me great advice. She asked me: What are you willing to sacrifice? Are you prepared to be an island? Are you prepared to lose your job, your friends, your family? And I realized I was.”
This is a common experience in the coming out journey, especially for those who are coming out as transgender, nonbinary, and gender expansive.
And while there are many coming out resources available through a quick Google search, I can’t help but notice a throughline in much of the advice given online.
Article after article puts the onus of responsibility on the individual who is coming out. That they will need to create their own safety plan, be prepared to be disowned or alienated by friends, family, and colleagues, and that they will need to educate their workplaces about their identity.
Now of course, there are certain aspects that an individual will be responsible for in their coming out journey. When they want to come out, who they want to come out to, etc. But workplaces actually play a crucial role in being their companion on this journey.
By creating resources like Transition Guidelines and Coming Out Action Plans, workplaces help to ease the experience of coming out. Having procedures like these in place communicates that no matter what might happen along the employees coming out journey, you have their back.
This is a way that workplaces commit to being an advocate for their TGX+ employees. Rather than reacting to TGX+ employees during their coming out journey, you are recognizing the reality of TGX+ employee needs and providing an opportunity to walk beside them during one of these thousand steps.
This Coming Out Day, I encourage you to think about two things:
What is your organization currently doing to create an environment where TGX+ employees are supported in their coming out journey?
What is one thing your organization could strengthen in order to better support TGX+ employees in their coming out journey?
I’d love to learn what comes up for you as you explore these questions. The answers indicate points of celebration and opportunity as you create a more inclusive environment for your TGX+ colleagues.
If you’re looking for a space to further discuss questions like these, our monthly TGX+ Inclusion Roundtable is the perfect opportunity to explore how to better support and engage the TGX+ folks in your organization.
